Continuing the Conversation Blog
Protecting Our Kids from Sexual Abuse
Thursday, April 9, 2015
We hear the statistics, 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually violated by their eighteenth birthday. It’s enough to cause panic. We’re tempted to hide under the bed or race for the closet, dragging our children with us. Maybe if we hide from childhood sexual abuse, it won’t see us.
Fear can paralyze. This is a real threat in the world, but there are steps you can do to stand up to the threat and protect your children, and to help them protect themselves.
Teach your children the proper names for their body parts.
Use bath time as teachable moments. Don’t make up silly names for their penis or vagina. This equips your children and informs them. Perpetrators target clueless children.
Instruct your children that no one is allowed to touch them where their swimsuit covers,
... and that they are not allowed to touch others where their swimsuit covers. Those areas are special and private. Calmly explain to them that they should tell you if someone touches them (no matter whom) or wants them to do the touching. This teaches your children appropriate boundaries and red flags. Perpetrators avoid knowledgeable children.
Empower your children to take ownership over their own bodies.
Don’t force your little ones to hug and kiss people if they don’t want to. Help them understand that their bodies – hugs and kisses – belong to them and are theirs to give. Children need to be taught to be respectful, but that they can say “no.” We spend so much time teaching our kids to be obedient; we forget to teach them that there is a time to be disobedient. Most often perpetrators are authority figures in our children’s lives, people they are taught to obey. Our children need to know how, and when, to say “no.” This helps your children feel empowered to make the right choice. Perpetrators avoid empowered children.
Discourage secrets in your family.
“We don’t keep secrets in our family. You can tell me anything.” Instead, encourage surprises. “We’re going to have a surprise party for grandma. We’re not going to tell her about it until we have the party. Then you can tell grandma everything.” Childhood sexual abuse relies on secrets. A perpetrator must convince your child to keep a secret in order to accomplish their goal. This creates open communication. Perpetrators avoid children who won’t keep a secret.
We can’t be with our children, every second of every day. And we can’t hide them in a closet away from the world’s dangers. But we can be wise, fearless mothers who teach our children well, empowering our children to understand that they can talk to us about anything.
What are other ways you help teach your kids and give them awareness about their bodies?
This article was published on November 13, 2013 on the Hello, Darling blog for MOPS International.
Would your child keep a
secret from you?
FIND OUT
Get our FREE video:
What If? Conversation Starters
or never miss a post!
Contributors
We're moms, just like you, who want to help parents protect their kids from childhood sexual abuse.
You may also like...
"If," a Poem for Prevention
Monday, November 15, 2021
She's Already Won the Gold
Wednesday, July 28, 2021
Talking to Our Kids about Sex and Sexual Abuse. It's More Than Just the Facts.
Monday, February 22, 2021
When Your Nothing Is Everything
Thursday, April 16, 2020
Children Know the World Is...
Wednesday, March 18, 2020
“Kissing Cousins:" What Mr. Rogers and Daniel Tiger Taught About Sexual Abuse Prevention
Wednesday, February 5, 2020
So, What About Sleepovers?
Wednesday, November 6, 2019
How to Teach Our Children about Sex While We Are Still Their Heroes
Wednesday, April 24, 2019
How to Protect Our Special Needs Children from Sexual Abuse
Tuesday, September 25, 2018
What If My Child Won’t Talk to Me?
Saturday, June 23, 2018
THANK YOU for donating to Rise and Shine Movement's 5th Annual Stuffed Animal Drive
Thursday, May 24, 2018
One Essential Parenting Decision You Will Never Regret
Tuesday, April 3, 2018
Rise and Shine Movement's 5th Annual Stuffed Animal Drive
Wednesday, March 14, 2018
Processing the Larry Nassar Childhood Sexual Abuse Case
Thursday, January 25, 2018
Confident Parenting In A "Me, Too" World
Wednesday, January 24, 2018
Are You and Your Children Free To Be?
Tuesday, January 23, 2018
Three Questions Matt Lauer Should Ask His Children
Wednesday, December 13, 2017
When You Catch Your Child “Playing Doctor”
Wednesday, October 25, 2017
Blush-free Family Movie Nights
Friday, July 14, 2017
How You Can Build a Relationship with Your Son by Talking about Porn
Thursday, April 27, 2017
The Day an Innocent Search Turned Up an Image My Son Can’t Erase: 5 Tips to Keep Your Kids Safe
Thursday, April 20, 2017
How to Speak about Porn and Strengthen Your Relationship with Your Child
Thursday, April 13, 2017
How You Can Help Protect Your Son's Innocence By Talking About Pornography
Thursday, April 6, 2017
Will Your Son Know What To Do When Someone Shows Him Porn?
Friday, March 31, 2017
Do Your Children Love Our Stories?
Wednesday, February 1, 2017
Why It’s Good for Your Child to Hurt: A Lesson from a Sexual Abuse Survivor
Saturday, January 7, 2017
A New Website, A New Video -- Our gifts to you!
Wednesday, December 7, 2016
Two Fearless Questions to Ask Your Child After a Playdate
Thursday, June 23, 2016
4 Things Perpetrators Don't Want Fathers to Know
Monday, June 13, 2016
April Awareness Month Wrap Up
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
Tip Four for Protecting Your Kids from Sexual Abuse (April 2016 Sexual Abuse Awareness Campaign)
Monday, April 25, 2016
Tip Three for Protecting Your Kids from Sexual Abuse (April 2016 Sexual Abuse Awareness Campaign)
Monday, April 18, 2016
Tip Two for Protecting Your Kids from Sexual Abuse (April 2016 Sexual Abuse Awareness Campaign)
Monday, April 11, 2016
Tip One for Protecting Your Kids from Sexual Abuse (April 2016 Sexual Abuse Awareness Campaign)
Monday, April 4, 2016
2016 Stuffed Animal Drive Underway!
Thursday, March 31, 2016
The Winner Is (Our Bobby Gilliam Book Giveaway)
Monday, February 1, 2016
It's a Bobby Gilliam Book Giveaway!
Monday, January 25, 2016
Why Should I Talk To My Kids About Porn?
Friday, January 22, 2016
Prevention Strategies Around the Holidays
Tuesday, November 24, 2015
Your Best Defense Against Childhood Sexual Abuse
Friday, September 18, 2015
Could Josh Duggar Be Your Son? Four Things You Need to Know
Friday, May 22, 2015
Measuring Success for CSA Awareness
Thursday, May 21, 2015
Is Your Child's Summer Camp Safe? Three Questions You Should Ask
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
What If Question Four
Monday, April 27, 2015
Bear Drive Huge Success in 2014
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
What If Question Three
Monday, April 20, 2015
What If Question Two
Monday, April 13, 2015
What If Question One
Monday, April 6, 2015
What If Conversation Starters
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
How Moms Can Make A Difference
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
Children Don't Tell Because They Protect
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Children Don't Tell Because They Trust
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Children Don't Tell Because They Love
Monday, September 29, 2014
When a Story and a Calling Converge
Thursday, September 25, 2014